"My mistress' eyes" Shakespeare Sonnet 130 - Translatio

For my blog, I decided to translate Shakespeare's "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun" into Hebrew. In an attempt to make what I did more understandable, I formatted it with one line of the original sonnet, followed by the same line translated into Hebrew, and then the English translation back from the Hebrew. Since Hebrew is a right to left language, the Hebrew words don't line up exactly with their equivalents in the English translation. Also, I would have put punctuation in the Hebrew version, but for some reason this site doesn't allow right to left punctuation, so I left it out.

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;

עיניים שלה הם לא כמו את השמש

Her eyes are not like the sun

Coral is far more red then her lips' red:

שפות שלה הם לא כל כך אדום

Her lips - they are not very red:

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;

אם שלג לבן שדות שלה שחורות

If snow is white, her breasts are black;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

שערים שלה שחורים ולא יפים

Her hair is black and not very beautiful.

I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,

ראיתי רוזים אדומים ולבנים

I have seen roses, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

אבל אין רוזים בפנים שלה

But these roses are not on her face;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

ורחתי בשמים יותר טובים

And I have smelled better perfumes

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

למה שאני ריח באהבה שלי

Than what I have smelled from my love.

I love to hear her speak, - yet well I know

אני אוהב את הקול שלה

I love her voice

That music hath a far more pleasing sound;

אבל כן מוזיקה יותר טובה

But music is better;

I grant I never saw a goddess go,

אני לא יודע איך הולך אלי

I don't know how God walks,

My mistress when she walks, treads on the ground;

אבל היא גם הולכת ברגליים

But she also walks on legs;

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare

אבל האהבה יותר מיחדת לי

But my love is more special to me

As any she belied with false compare.

לכל האחרות שלא נכון יפות

Than all the other women who aren't truly beautiful.

Just so that you all can understand some of the linguistic features in the Hebrew translation without actually being able to read the text, I'll explain a few of them. First of all, there is quite a bit of alliteration, partly because Hebrew lends itself naturally to that, partly intentionally. There are a lot of partial rhymes at the end of lines as well. This also is partly due to the language itself, because many Hebrew inflections fall at the ends of words. I put in a little bit of anaphora with, for instance, the word "aval" which means "but." Finally, I tried to maintain the original iambic pentameter with varying amounts of success.