Psalm 23 into Lyrical Form

I decided to create Psalm 23 into a hymn using Sevens and Sixes meter (7-6-7-6). I wanted to create a moving, peaceful feel to the scripture, as it is a prayer of comfort in one's own solitude, and provides the blessing of God and His holy spirit to be with us as we follow his counsel. I just love David's recollection that the Lord is his shepherd and that he is someone he can rely upon in time of need. The overall message is simply beautiful, and I hope that putting the psalm in this meter appropriately expresses David's overwhelming emotions for the Lord, and properly shows the plain style that is used so often within the scriptures in prayers of the heart. This is my metered form of the Psalm, and then below, I put the Psalm to hymn #124, Be Still my Soul. Enjoy!

Metered 7-6-7-6 poem:
With the Lord as my shepherd,
ne'er shall I want again.
He leads me to rest and peace,
He gives me sustenance.

He makes new my soul with love,
in righteousness He leads.
I follow his humble path
for peace and solitude.

Though I may walk through death's door,
I have no fear within,
for thou art with me always,
guiding, comforting me.

He anoints me with oil,
blesses me with comfort.
Mercy shall find me through Him,
if in Him I remain.

Be Still my Soul version:
My Lord, My God,
Thou shepherd me to light.
Thou art my rod,
and aid me in my plight.
Make new my soul,
and help me find my rest, for if you're with
me I can feel so blessed.
Lead me to Thee,
and help me on my way,
and comfort me,
Thy spirit with me stay.

Though I may pass
through shadows of death's veil,
I will hold fast
to Thee, I cannot fail.
For Thou art host,
annointing me with oil,
Thou art the most,
no longer shall I toil.
Thy mercy shall
find me and bless my days,
ne'er will I fall,
but live with Thee in praise.